I’ve been talking with my brother earlier today about the fact that Hollywood is running out of ideas and reviving all the comic heroes. We realized that almost ALL Marvel and DC heroes are dressed quite innapropriately for their… well.. mucho nature. I mean.. let’s have a detailed look.
Superman
Superman is the prime exmple. He even wears his RED speedo outside of his spandex… unoform? Along with those boots and the cape. Guess where the eyes of all sexes go once they look at this above picture. Hint: it’s complete with a YELLOW belt, it’s red and it also has two hands INDICATING the place.
The cape? It just hides his bubble butt for NOT being extra gay as it already is.
The second thing I wanna know, How the hell is supposed to fight with this thing on? A scratch on this suit can make the whole thing dissapear like a bursting baloon. Superman would have been half naked the most of the time – making it probably TOO gay for the fans to approve. I don’t even wanna thing what’s happening when he carries Lois Lane while getting an erection in this suit.
Batman
As much as I love batman, (not the movie where this picture is taken from) I can’t agree with its dressing decisions. I mean, the guy dresses like a bat while we think that The Joker is the insane one.
As barf-worthy the above picture is, it pretty much combines the elements of EVERY BATMAN OUTFIT EVER!
Even awesome Batman outfits like Arkham Asylum have the “oh, look at my buffy stuff”
Not to mention that the cape is fucking awkward. Nobody really knows what the suit is made from. Is it a bunch of kevlar plates? Really uncomfortable and hard to move around. Let alone fight. Is it just some sort of spandex? He would have been naked halfway the game/movie/comic he stars in.
Wolverine
Well not much to say about Wolverine, only that the movie actually put him in a more comfy and ordinary outfit that somebody could actually fight with this on. And I’m talking about this
Now there are some weird types of superheroes. Thor stays in the gray side of the spectrum with an overly unconfortable to wear outfit but not unconfortabl to be seen with it.
Thor
And then it’s captain america who takes ALL of the above and take it to extreme level.
And of course, the number 1 gayer and uncomfortable outfitted superhero goes to HE-MAN
It’s good it gets clear from his name that he’s a HE. It’s the only superhero I know that runs around with purple and pink skinny outfit while he’s NOT his super self and he turns to a BDSM hunky guy once he takes out his shord and shouts “by the honour of G®ayskull!”
He’s also the only hero I know which bleaches his hair – his eyebrows are quite black- and gets a tan as a bonus on changing to his super hero self. I just don’t know how to put this, but the creators put the super-hot She-Ra as his SISTER instead of his loved one for a reason…
Now, don’t get me for a sexist, homophobic e.t.c. I’m just stating that something’s wrong with superheroes. The same goes with female superheroes that are a bunch of stereotypes along with sexism.
High Heels are also a stupid decision for super heroines. Nobody can fight with those on. Try a karate kick on super high heels only to find yourself lying on the floor, easy target for horny badnicks to do their dirty job. So, girls, don’t ever dress like female super heroes, unless you do it for a sexy dressup to stir things with your boyfriend.
Let’s just wrap up the whole thing. Superheroes, they don’t make sense because they are fictional, they can do everything we can’t and thy don’t mind being a freak among normal people. Just don’t tell me that Batman acts normally or whatever. We have been USED TO see them that way, but from the style and practical standpoint, they dress awkwardly.
So here you go. Random post for random stuff Achieved. Blip Blop.
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